This Nearly Broke Us During Our Renovation

🎁 Free guide: How To Get A Designer-Quality Renovation Without the Designer Price Tag

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This Nearly Broke Us...

I hosted my book club on Tuesday. (Special thanks to those of you who sent me book recs!)

For most of the group, it was their first time seeing our house post-renovation.

They oohed. They aahed. The floating staircase got its moment.

The massive island (a.k.a. “the continent”) was a crowd favourite.

There were a few comments like:

“I never would have thought about moving the kitchen here… but it makes SO much sense. This is truly the heart of the home.”

I love when people see a space transformed and feel inspired. 😊✨

Before my husband disappeared upstairs for the rest of the evening (as he was casually stealing cheese off the charcuterie board), one of the ladies asked him if he was happy with the renovation, and he made the usual joke, “We like each other again now.”

Everyone laughed… but we both knew it was more than a joke.

After several months of hard conversations and therapy, we're back to being in a good place...

But we were not happy last year.

Renovating took a toll on our relationship.

And that's something not enough people talk about.

Living in the basement for months, endless dust, tradespeople climbing over our bed to reach the electrical panel, and a lot of less-than-healthy prepared food... it was a lot.

The logistics are one kind of stress. But the emotional stuff? That sneaks up on you.

What really ramps up the tension in most relationships during a renovation isn't just the mess or the chaos...

It's being forced to make big, expensive, high-pressure decisions on the fly.

Because here's the truth:

Most contractors are not project managers. Or designers.

And if you don't have a clear, detailed plan going into construction, guess who has to make all those decisions in the moment?

You. Together. Under pressure. 😬

And every renovation has constraints—your budget, your timeline, your willingness to live with imperfections, your personal “must-haves.”

So what happens when you are willing to spend more to get the finish you love, but your partner is fixated on cutting costs to stay on budget?

Or when they want open shelves, and you're just thinking about the dust...?

Conflict. Tradeoffs. Frustration. And sometimes resentment.

Here's one thing I know for sure...

🛠️ Most renovation relationship tension can be avoided with a great plan.

When you go through the planning process together, before you hire anyone,
→ You agree on your priorities
→ You allocate every dollar intentionally
→ You know what tradeoffs you're making before they blindside you mid-construction

AND → You both agree to moving forward with the documented plan, so that it's BOTH of you against the "problem".

That's where my husband and I went wrong. He agreed to the reno, and I went ahead and made a (damn fine!) plan. Every time I tried to talk to him about the plan, his eyes rolled back in his head and he went to his happy place (fishing, no doubt)...

So we started the reno with ME being clear on the plan, and dragging him along with me. It wasn't pleasant for either of us.

I always knew (and proved) the incredible value of a detailed plan...but I failed at making sure there was full agreement on the plan with my husband before I started booking tradespeople.

That was my biggest lesson of this renovation.

Thankfully, the reno turned out amazing and he loves cooking in our new kitchen... so he's happy now. (And I'm happy knowing I was right all along...he just couldn't see my vision. 😜)

Planning upfront doesn't just save you money.

It saves your sanity. And maybe your marriage. 🤷‍♀️

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If a renovation is on your radar, but you're not sure where to start, I made something to help.

🎁 Free guide: How To Get A Designer-Quality Renovation Without the Designer Price Tag

It's the starting point I wish every couple had before jumping in.

Let's get you that dream home—without losing your mind or your partner along the way!✨